Hippo Culture - Word War - 5 minutes

The hippo, which is very unlike a tall green shoot of bamboo, is very fat. And aggressive. If in fact you did try to make a linkage between the two, only two come to mind. One, pandas are fat. Pandas eat bamboo. And, hippos are fat. While hippos do not consume bamboo, their opposition to bamboo connects them to the main consumer of it. But, that is really no matter of concern. For you could link any things or objects together, but what would the point be? No gain would come of it, unless you were bored and needed something entertaining. If you did indeed find linking random things together entertaining, I would go so far as to suggest that you need serious mental therapy. But if you actually live in a remote region of the world and have nothing better to do, then I would not suggest any form of treatment for the boredom entertainment. And anyhow, you wouldn't have the funds to pay for it. But moving back to the hippos: Hippos are very aggressive. They seem laid back and lazy. And anyhow, they always say that fat people are jolly. But not hippos. I suppose it doesn't apply anyways, because hippos are not in fact people. So nevermind there. If you so much as enter a pool of water that they are currently occupying, you have just granted your own personal death wish. Unfortunate, I know. Especially for those who do not know that a hippo is submerged underneath murky waters. They are in for a particularly unpleasant surprise. Hippos have very large and dangerous teeth, not to mention all the bacteria in their mouth. But I won't worry you with the bacteria, for if you do get mauled by a hippo you will most likely not survive it so I might as well not plague you with the insignificance of bacteria as the hippo rips you apart with his and her ferocious biters. If, however, you are wishing to die, I would suggest the hippo as the perfect form. This form of suicide proves that you are not actually a wimp of any sort and that you were willing to do anything to remove yourself from the face of the planet. Might as well have an exciting experience before death. You might even make the news. So far I have yet to hear of any 'hippo suicides.' Hopefully, I never will. I never advocate suicide.